Top Ten Advantages to LHD Coming Online

Tomorrow, the Large Hadron Collider, the world’s largest particle accelerator, comes online.  Some believe this heralds the end of life as we know it, the utter destruction of the Earth, and/or a rise in fuel prices.  We here at Casa de Ligne know better, and here are the Top Ten reasons not to fear:

  1. Resulting giant black hole resolves that pesky Obama problem.
  2. No homework.  Ever. 
  3. Soccer practice is now in zero-g.
  4. No more dithering over what to have for dinner.
  5. Al Gore will finally Shut. Up.
  6. Polar bears will no longer be “endangered.”
  7. The Tampa Bay Rays will end a season on top of the standings.
  8. NASA will have all the funding it wants. 
  9. No more French!
  10. Should anything go awry, Sarah Palin will fix it.

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