I am Simon Jester

The One Where Ted Loses It

Posted by Ted Bronson | Filed under Steaming Mad

Hi folks. Sorry I have been kinda out of the loop here for a while. I have been trying desperately to write something that didn’t come out sounding like !@!$% %^!$$! (&*^*( )(*&&*(#!.

I have absolutely no compassion left for jackasses and idiots who think that they can be a big man just because they can pick up a handgun.

This particular little prick needs to be publicly flogged. He comes into my town, to the mall where my family shops at the pet store, and pulls out a gun to shoot somebody because of freaking gang colors? WTF? Is this East L.A.? This little bastard shot somebody within 30 feet of the window where my wife and son and daughter stand to look at the baby bunnies. Across the hall from the pet store is the cafeteria where my mother in law takes my kids to lunch every so often. AND THE GODDAMNED MALL IS A “GUN FREE ZONE”! Gee, that really seemed to work. Lakeland Square Mall has the balls to tell me that I or my wife or my mother in law can’t carry our legal concealed handguns into their second rate excuse for a shrine to commerce, but a goddamned Bloods and Crips shoot out is ok?

Breathe, Ted. Breathe.

Then there is this story from last week. Seems a little graduation party got a wee bit out of hand. Estimates of the crowd range from two hundred and fifty all the way up to four hundred. Partying in the street. Kids as young as middle school age were present, according to some reports. So here we have another sterling example of ‘big gun/big dick’ syndrome. Jackass boy starts shooting his gun into the air, while the police are actually on scene to break up the party. That takes extra special numb nuts right there. Extra extra double dumbassery since there were gunshots at the same location the night before:

Bacon didn’t attend Saturday night’s party but said she was at a different graduation party at the same lodge on Friday night. There were gunshots that night too, she said.

So when the cops tell him to drop the gun, he does the absolute wrong thing. Now he is dead. A seventeen year old boy. Dead.

)(*^&(*&^*^T*OGOT^*#@*)({*($* YT($*#YP(*$#Y(!!!!

But it gets even better:

The local race baiters, the Uhuru’s, are protesting the police, the witnesses aren’t talking to anybody except the “lawyer” that said baiters have hired, and the news coverage is full of all the saccharine crap about ‘he was such a good kid’ that always seems to come out just before a nice riot. I just want to say for the record that it is a shame that he was such a dumbass at that particular moment of his life. But it isn’t nearly as big a shame that he now has a twin sister who is mourning him. ‘Cuz she has the same genes and gods above and below only know if she is gonna pass them along to another dumb kid some day.

How come when Bill Cosby talks, nay, preaches, that black men have got to take control of their families and raise their kids with some morals and responsibility, he is called Uncle Tom; but when Borat He Hate Me Obama does it on Father’s Day from the pulpit, he is praised by the press and the black community? Oh, I see the difference now, Borat wants to make sure that black men can take care of their spawn by funding more programs with our tax dollars, rather than expecting them to actually be parents.

(!!#R(#@(*&ULFVSJFH&@$^*!&$$H(C(Y@#E!

It’s gonna be a long summer.